Tuesday, March 13, 2012
If Moore's Law applied to Number 5 from Short Circuit, by 2012 he would be 1 millimeter tall.
Oh also, the Indian sidekick was a white dude.
Oh also, the Indian sidekick was a white dude.
Friday, March 02, 2012
One of the great thing about Facebook, is that at any time, it allows people to broadcast how completely ignorant they are about politics and economics, and demonstrate a lack of thinking ability in general.
It's like telling synagogues that they have to provide their members bacon. Yeah, it would be an awesome, awesome, phenomenal thing, but can we agree that it's not within the powers of the government to require that?
You say those are bad comparisons, because bacon is not as important? That is correct. The whole point of the Bill of Rights is to protect against when something is a "good idea" or popular. It's like the time my boss said that my employment contract should just assume we were going to treat each other fairly. Oh yeah, so then why do we even need a contract?
The irony is especially rich considering that state religious edicts like this were one of the main reasons people took the risks to set up the colonies that became this country.
So yeah, it's an issue in 2012.
I guess now we can briefly turn from politics to economics. Insurance is for large, unpredictable, irregular expenses. Contraception is a small, regular and predictable expense. It's like buying "lunch" insurance. Just fucking stupid.
"I can't believe contraception is even an issue in 2012."Look, I love contraception. But back in school I read this old weird document that said something along the likes of "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." Forcing churches to buy their members contraception sounds a whole lot like prohibiting free exercise of religion. It's an issue in 2012 because, while no one is forced to be a member of or work at a church, Obamarama wants to force people to violate their religion.
It's like telling synagogues that they have to provide their members bacon. Yeah, it would be an awesome, awesome, phenomenal thing, but can we agree that it's not within the powers of the government to require that?
You say those are bad comparisons, because bacon is not as important? That is correct. The whole point of the Bill of Rights is to protect against when something is a "good idea" or popular. It's like the time my boss said that my employment contract should just assume we were going to treat each other fairly. Oh yeah, so then why do we even need a contract?
The irony is especially rich considering that state religious edicts like this were one of the main reasons people took the risks to set up the colonies that became this country.
So yeah, it's an issue in 2012.
I guess now we can briefly turn from politics to economics. Insurance is for large, unpredictable, irregular expenses. Contraception is a small, regular and predictable expense. It's like buying "lunch" insurance. Just fucking stupid.
Monday, September 26, 2011
New Business Idea
Criminal conspiracy staffed exclusively by deaf people that have photographic memories. All communication would be done in sign language and nothing would ever been written down.
Criminal conspiracy staffed exclusively by deaf people that have photographic memories. All communication would be done in sign language and nothing would ever been written down.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wow no posts in 3 months? This blog kinda sucks.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I think one thing everyone's missing in all this state budget rigamarole is - why are teachers even in unions in the first place? Didn't they go to college? Don't they consider themselves professionals?
I guess not. The fact that they are violently pro-union suggests that they themselves believe that teachers are replaceable cogs in the machine. Frankly, at least in public schools, it's probably true.
As such, I'd like to suggest another way for local governments to close budget gaps. Just fire all the teachers and replace them with educational software and a few security guards. I really doubt the educational outcomes would fall dramatically, especially in the inner cities.
The only problem with this is that the budget savings on schools would probably be somewhat counterbalanced by increases in welfare spending when the fired teachers find out they are unemployable elsewhere. He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
I guess not. The fact that they are violently pro-union suggests that they themselves believe that teachers are replaceable cogs in the machine. Frankly, at least in public schools, it's probably true.
As such, I'd like to suggest another way for local governments to close budget gaps. Just fire all the teachers and replace them with educational software and a few security guards. I really doubt the educational outcomes would fall dramatically, especially in the inner cities.
The only problem with this is that the budget savings on schools would probably be somewhat counterbalanced by increases in welfare spending when the fired teachers find out they are unemployable elsewhere. He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
Friday, March 11, 2011
I get it. Twitter really is a game changer. From its ability to so rapidly disseminate information about the recent Japan quake, to its adroitness at allowing people to foment revolutionary ideas in the middle east, twitter is not only remaking media, but society.
The previous statement would be true on opposite day.
Twitter is still a useless toy. I did learn about Japan via social networks. So fucking what? I would've found out about 9 mins later when I turned on the TV anyway. What about the first hand perspective? Someone on facebook posted "a guy on twitter said it was the strongest quake he'd ever felt." A guy on twitter said that? Holy crap I guess we can FUCKING THROW AWAY THE SEISMOGRAPHS. To paraphrase Rodney Dangerfield, Twitter is like buying already highlighted textbooks. How do you know the previous guy isn't a maniac?
Oh and the Middle East revolutions? They didn't have twitter in E. Europe in 1991. They didn't have Twitter in Iran in 1979. They actually still don't have Twitter there, and the revolution is hampered by a much more effective and brutal secret police, not some magical technology that allows people to suddenly know that a revolution is happening. Also, a lot of the street names are longer than 140 characters in those weird countries.
Why is twitter so huge? 3 reasons.
1) Because the media lives in a young, urban, high tech echo chamber where everybody uses it. "I can't believe Richard Nixon won... Nobody I know voted for him!"
2) Vanity. People like to think they're important and I think twitter indulges this. Not like blogs, where you can make sure nobody is listening via your site stats.
3) Laziness. Writing a book is hard. Writing a PHD thesis is hard. Even writing a blog post on a regular basis is hard. Twitter is something people can participate in without actually doing any work. Hard to overestimate the laziness of most people.
So there it is. This post is also available via 74 twitter updates.
The previous statement would be true on opposite day.
Twitter is still a useless toy. I did learn about Japan via social networks. So fucking what? I would've found out about 9 mins later when I turned on the TV anyway. What about the first hand perspective? Someone on facebook posted "a guy on twitter said it was the strongest quake he'd ever felt." A guy on twitter said that? Holy crap I guess we can FUCKING THROW AWAY THE SEISMOGRAPHS. To paraphrase Rodney Dangerfield, Twitter is like buying already highlighted textbooks. How do you know the previous guy isn't a maniac?
Oh and the Middle East revolutions? They didn't have twitter in E. Europe in 1991. They didn't have Twitter in Iran in 1979. They actually still don't have Twitter there, and the revolution is hampered by a much more effective and brutal secret police, not some magical technology that allows people to suddenly know that a revolution is happening. Also, a lot of the street names are longer than 140 characters in those weird countries.
Why is twitter so huge? 3 reasons.
1) Because the media lives in a young, urban, high tech echo chamber where everybody uses it. "I can't believe Richard Nixon won... Nobody I know voted for him!"
2) Vanity. People like to think they're important and I think twitter indulges this. Not like blogs, where you can make sure nobody is listening via your site stats.
3) Laziness. Writing a book is hard. Writing a PHD thesis is hard. Even writing a blog post on a regular basis is hard. Twitter is something people can participate in without actually doing any work. Hard to overestimate the laziness of most people.
So there it is. This post is also available via 74 twitter updates.
Monday, February 28, 2011
New Business Idea
Airplane skins made out of golf ball dimple material.
(and yes I know why this wouldn't work)
Airplane skins made out of golf ball dimple material.
(and yes I know why this wouldn't work)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I just finished reading the Gawker hack release notes.
There is really nothing to say other than that they have massively incompetent technology people. The are so bad, they don't even know what they don't know.
Now against a determined adversary you are probably screwed anyway, but this whole thing would have been much harder with a few VERY BASIC security concepts, including:
1) Adding a SALT to your stored passwords
2) Adding firewall rules to only allow access to your servers from necessary IP address blocks.
3) Disabling the root accounts
I'm not talking about a sophisticated intrusion detection system, but how about setting up a script that emails you every time someone logs in to the production system? My FUCKING Facebook account does this! That would have prevented allowing them to spend 3 days downloading your database.
There is really nothing to say other than that they have massively incompetent technology people. The are so bad, they don't even know what they don't know.
"They are not stored in plain text and are on entirely different systems than the third-party hosted Campfire screenshots that appear in this article. There's no evidence to suggest any Gawker Network user accounts were compromised, and passwords are encrypted (not stored in plain text) anyway, so stealing passwords isn't even possible."How does this guy not know about rainbow tables? Is their tech guy a journalist who taught himself PHP?
Now against a determined adversary you are probably screwed anyway, but this whole thing would have been much harder with a few VERY BASIC security concepts, including:
1) Adding a SALT to your stored passwords
2) Adding firewall rules to only allow access to your servers from necessary IP address blocks.
3) Disabling the root accounts
I'm not talking about a sophisticated intrusion detection system, but how about setting up a script that emails you every time someone logs in to the production system? My FUCKING Facebook account does this! That would have prevented allowing them to spend 3 days downloading your database.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
There's been some hubbub over this wikileaks situation. If "loose lips sank ships" back in WWII, in the information age it's a warfighting tactic and I think we have just been attacked. So while the original leaker should be hung, and while I would not be averse to having a cruise missle accidentally land in Mr. Assange's parents' house -- there is only solution to this problem long term.
The signal to noise ratio is a measure used in science and engineering to quantify how much a signal has been corrupted by noise. The United States should hire a large group of people to write or forge millions of fake official government/military documents and submit them to wikileaks and found a dozen other document release websites to swamp the signal with noise.
It would be cheap, would give anyone who needed it plausible deniability, and would allow for the release of strategic misinformation to our enemies.
In fact, maybe they've done it already.....
The signal to noise ratio is a measure used in science and engineering to quantify how much a signal has been corrupted by noise. The United States should hire a large group of people to write or forge millions of fake official government/military documents and submit them to wikileaks and found a dozen other document release websites to swamp the signal with noise.
It would be cheap, would give anyone who needed it plausible deniability, and would allow for the release of strategic misinformation to our enemies.
In fact, maybe they've done it already.....
Thursday, October 07, 2010
"Our education system is broken," says the person who just came out of Waiting for Superman.
I hate to break it to you, but the education system is not broken. It is functioning EXACTLY as one might expect based on its design.
Education is a service, just like any other. There is a mechanism for enforcing that any good or service is of sufficient quality, and that is when the seller has to convince the buyer to voluntarily part with his own money to acquire it, and acquire it from him rather than his competitor.
When the service is paid for by a 3rd party, and the customer only has one choice, it is a sure thing that the service will be very poor quality. That is not broken, that is poorly designed.
Imagine if you could only eat dinner for free at one restaurant that was in your neighborhood, and the government paid the restaurant regardless of whether you liked your meal or even showed up. Does anyone believe this restaurant would have good food? The only reason restaurants strive to provide good food and service is because they have to convince you to come to their restaurant to eat.
You might be wondering why rich neighborhoods have good public schools and poor neighborhoods have terrible ones. It is most certainly not about the amount of money that is spent. It is because rich neighborhoods have a very inefficient but still functioning free market, in that rich people can move to a better school district. Poor people do not have this option and again as you would expect their schools are very bad despite the same or more resources being thrown at the problem.
Imagine how fast schools would improve if the state or locality gave every student a voucher for the $15K they annually spend and told them they could spent it on any school they wanted. The incremental cost would be zero. Milton Friedman was arguing for this almost 60 years ago. We haven't done it, because the system is not broken, the system is working exactly as the designers of it, the teachers unions, want it to work.
I hate to break it to you, but the education system is not broken. It is functioning EXACTLY as one might expect based on its design.
Education is a service, just like any other. There is a mechanism for enforcing that any good or service is of sufficient quality, and that is when the seller has to convince the buyer to voluntarily part with his own money to acquire it, and acquire it from him rather than his competitor.
When the service is paid for by a 3rd party, and the customer only has one choice, it is a sure thing that the service will be very poor quality. That is not broken, that is poorly designed.
Imagine if you could only eat dinner for free at one restaurant that was in your neighborhood, and the government paid the restaurant regardless of whether you liked your meal or even showed up. Does anyone believe this restaurant would have good food? The only reason restaurants strive to provide good food and service is because they have to convince you to come to their restaurant to eat.
You might be wondering why rich neighborhoods have good public schools and poor neighborhoods have terrible ones. It is most certainly not about the amount of money that is spent. It is because rich neighborhoods have a very inefficient but still functioning free market, in that rich people can move to a better school district. Poor people do not have this option and again as you would expect their schools are very bad despite the same or more resources being thrown at the problem.
Imagine how fast schools would improve if the state or locality gave every student a voucher for the $15K they annually spend and told them they could spent it on any school they wanted. The incremental cost would be zero. Milton Friedman was arguing for this almost 60 years ago. We haven't done it, because the system is not broken, the system is working exactly as the designers of it, the teachers unions, want it to work.
Friday, August 06, 2010
Notice to women of NYC
The utility of sandals and the utility of boots are not accretive when you combine them into one shoe.
The utility of sandals and the utility of boots are not accretive when you combine them into one shoe.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Am I the only one that does preemptive wear leveling on my couch cushions?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I really hope I don't get dementia when I'm old. Because it will take all the fun out of just pretending to have dementia.
Friday, July 09, 2010
"It has been proposed that the hominid lineage began when a group of chimpanzee-like apes began to throw rocks and swing clubs at adversaries, and that this behaviour yielded reproductive advantages for millions of years, driving natural selection for improved throwing and clubbing prowess. (link)"Whatever the cause, our elite throwing ability is the result of ancient morphological and neurological changes unique to humans, and have been integral to hunting and warfare for millennia.
In modern society sports have generally replaced hunting and warfare as a means to express our evolutionary heritage for competition and aggression. This is why sports generally require throwing a ball or clubbing an object. Baseball, basketball, football, hockey, golf, badminton, bowling, cricket, bocce, billiards, javelin, polo (water and horse), racquetball, etc. Sometimes sports are just fighting and hunting, like martial arts, wresting, fishing, boxing, fencing, and hockey.
This leaves soccer in a strange place. While I imagine our ancestors occasionally kicked or headbutted prey or an adversary, this certainly was not the preferred method and was probably limited to humans that had severe injury to their arms that precluded their use. In this way, in the taxonomy of human activity, I believe soccer should be categorized as a general leisure activity or perhaps hobby, but not a sport.
Up until now I haven't distinguished between genders, however it's interesting to note that modern humans display a strong sexual dimorphism with respect to elite overhand throwing. In some ways, soccer represents the historical role of women, using team work to go out and gather objects to bring back and deposit it safely, while avoiding having it taken by a the women of a neighboring tribe through trickery but generally without violence. So being charitable there is a basis for concluding that soccer is a girl sport.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
We knew that you didn't have to be John Venn to realize that when almost all people complaining about AT&T's network are iPhone users, the problem might be the phone rather than the network. So I was interested to read this:
"But here’s the fascinating point: the signaling issues aren’t just AT&T’s fault. In a quest to extend battery life on the iPhone, Apple did something 'non-standard' which compounds the issues – the iPhone constantly drops connections, going in to an idle state. Keepalives within the apps then reestablish a new connection after only a few seconds. Network equipment makers never anticipated this. Think of it as hanging up during a phone call when the line is silent, and then redialing to respond. (via)"It's thin though.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin accused the president of being in the pocket of Big Oil, a charge usually leveled by Democrats at the GOP.Key Takeaways:
"You've got to have a license to drive a car in this country, but, regrettably, you can get on a TV show and say virtually anything," White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said (WSJ, Pg A1, 5/25/2010).
Sarah Palin -- most likely not the smartest politician we've ever had in this country.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs -- Thinks the First Amendment should require a government license to be exercised.
Dummy.
Friday, May 21, 2010
New Business Idea
Kitchen timer for the outside of the bathroom door. Can be set to 35 or 45 mins.
Kitchen timer for the outside of the bathroom door. Can be set to 35 or 45 mins.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
It's starting to happen. Apple vs. Google in mobile is a replay of Apple vs. IBM in PCs 20 years ago. Apple creates a better product, and then completely locks it down from external innovation (even apps are censored). The open competitor quickly overtakes apple and crushes it. The Android ecosystem will be (maybe already is) better, cheaper, and faster than the iPhone. The irony of Apple's famous superbowl commercial is incredible. Steve Jobs is the Pol Pot of technology.
Apple was recently the 3rd most valuable company in the U.S. In my opinion this is horrifically flawed valuation. I will be investigated very far out of the money put options.
By the way, I hear non stop complaining about the AT&T service. These complaints always come from iPhone users. As a self-anointed expert in debugging, when a network has many devices, and problems occur with only one of the devices, the PROBLEM IS THE FUCKING PHONE NOT THE NETWORK.
Apple was recently the 3rd most valuable company in the U.S. In my opinion this is horrifically flawed valuation. I will be investigated very far out of the money put options.
By the way, I hear non stop complaining about the AT&T service. These complaints always come from iPhone users. As a self-anointed expert in debugging, when a network has many devices, and problems occur with only one of the devices, the PROBLEM IS THE FUCKING PHONE NOT THE NETWORK.
Friday, May 14, 2010
New Business Idea
A version of Facebook where all the status updates and pictures are fully encrypted before sending. Everyone then has a browser plugin that stores each friend's public key and decrypts locally for viewing. Nothing is ever stored or transmitted in plain text, however it is completely transparent to the users.
Update: Forgot to mention, this new business idea, like all new business ideas, is not a new idea.
A version of Facebook where all the status updates and pictures are fully encrypted before sending. Everyone then has a browser plugin that stores each friend's public key and decrypts locally for viewing. Nothing is ever stored or transmitted in plain text, however it is completely transparent to the users.
Update: Forgot to mention, this new business idea, like all new business ideas, is not a new idea.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Where do I shop if I want my blinds to stay?
Friday, February 12, 2010
New Business Idea
Software that blocks internet access for children. The twist is that it blocks access by tweaking a setting, and you tell your kids that they can use the internet when they figure out how to unblock it. The software would start with something easy like disabling the network card. When the kids figure out how to turn it back on, it waits a few days and changes a more difficult setting. After a few months of the kids figuring out and fixing everything from bad IP addresses to secretly corrupted routing tables, you will have successfully tricked your kid into becoming a computer expert thereby preventing teenage sex.
Software that blocks internet access for children. The twist is that it blocks access by tweaking a setting, and you tell your kids that they can use the internet when they figure out how to unblock it. The software would start with something easy like disabling the network card. When the kids figure out how to turn it back on, it waits a few days and changes a more difficult setting. After a few months of the kids figuring out and fixing everything from bad IP addresses to secretly corrupted routing tables, you will have successfully tricked your kid into becoming a computer expert thereby preventing teenage sex.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Steve Jobs fucked us in the ass. Again.
We do not need something between phones and laptops. What we need is for Apple, RIM, and Google to get together and develop an industry standard for phone input and output devices. Basically an adapter to connect phones to keyboards and displays.
Phones are already powerful enough to do most of what we need, -- email, music, videos, games, web browsing. And they fit in your pocket and you always have them with you.
What I absolutely do not want it to start carrying around a 10" screen everywhere I go. What I do want is for the industry to come up with a standardized docking station or adapter, so I can just connect my phone anywhere and use it as a computer.
If it were standardized, venues such as hotels, airports, airplanes and starbucks would have an incentive to make kiosks available, and you could just use your phone for everything without hauling a display. And it already has built in wireless.
And if you really, really need to read the NY Times, and you are not at home or work where you already have a computer, and you don't want a paper version, and you can't read it on your phone, then yes I guess the iPad is perfect for you. Steve Jobs has invented a device for the biggest douche holes in the world. Congratulations.
* I reserve the right to delete or heavily modify this post at a future date should the iPad become the greatest thing since Gutenberg invented sliced bread.
We do not need something between phones and laptops. What we need is for Apple, RIM, and Google to get together and develop an industry standard for phone input and output devices. Basically an adapter to connect phones to keyboards and displays.
Phones are already powerful enough to do most of what we need, -- email, music, videos, games, web browsing. And they fit in your pocket and you always have them with you.
What I absolutely do not want it to start carrying around a 10" screen everywhere I go. What I do want is for the industry to come up with a standardized docking station or adapter, so I can just connect my phone anywhere and use it as a computer.
If it were standardized, venues such as hotels, airports, airplanes and starbucks would have an incentive to make kiosks available, and you could just use your phone for everything without hauling a display. And it already has built in wireless.
And if you really, really need to read the NY Times, and you are not at home or work where you already have a computer, and you don't want a paper version, and you can't read it on your phone, then yes I guess the iPad is perfect for you. Steve Jobs has invented a device for the biggest douche holes in the world. Congratulations.
* I reserve the right to delete or heavily modify this post at a future date should the iPad become the greatest thing since Gutenberg invented sliced bread.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Al Gore is not a mass murderer. But only because to be guilty of murder you require mens rea or a guilty mind.
But he is a killer.
By now some of you have probably heard, via facebook status updates, about the tragic earthquake in Haiti. It's mostly tragic, however, because as an impoverished nation they were unable to afford strict building standards, and they are unable to mobilize heavy equipment and relief supplies to rescue survivors and assuage the misery.
Which brings me to the subject ofglobal warming climate change. Ignoring for now the fact that researchers had to lie and manipulate data to get their models to predict climate change will occur, I don't think anyone really disputes that there's really nothing we can do about it. The most drastic solutions cut carbon emissions by a few percentage points far down the road. Without some fundamental breakthrough in energy, or abandoning modern lifestyle, our carbon emissions will march on. There's no getting around it.
But what we can do is severely damage our economy and the world economy by imposing draconian taxes on carbon and massively distorting the market for energy.
Thankfully the global cooling scientists were predicting a few decades ago never materialized and I'm confident the warming will likewise not come to pass, however, if they are accidentally right, and global warming happens, and it turns out to be on a net basis more harmful than beneficial -- would we rather deal with the consequences as a Haiti or as a Northridge, CA?
But he is a killer.
By now some of you have probably heard, via facebook status updates, about the tragic earthquake in Haiti. It's mostly tragic, however, because as an impoverished nation they were unable to afford strict building standards, and they are unable to mobilize heavy equipment and relief supplies to rescue survivors and assuage the misery.
Which brings me to the subject of
But what we can do is severely damage our economy and the world economy by imposing draconian taxes on carbon and massively distorting the market for energy.
Thankfully the global cooling scientists were predicting a few decades ago never materialized and I'm confident the warming will likewise not come to pass, however, if they are accidentally right, and global warming happens, and it turns out to be on a net basis more harmful than beneficial -- would we rather deal with the consequences as a Haiti or as a Northridge, CA?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
There's reason to believe airport security is worse than useless. It maintains the appearance of safety while providing very little and lots of inconvenience. For example, all the talk about the "No Fly List" misses the point that at home printable boarding passes make circumventing this check trivial.
There's probably not very much that we can do about this. But only because the government is in charge of security and they are massively incompetent at everything except providing health care, I'm told.
But just for fun, here's a few ideas I would implement if I were in charge.
1) Except for businessmen and parents with small children, you don't really need ANY carry-on luggage. People only bring luggage on board because a) checked luggage is inconvenient and now expensive; and b) entertainment.
In-flight entertainment should be upgraded to include free movies and TV's on all flights. Flights should also have internet access, with portable keyboards that could be rented and work with the seatback screens and something like Chrome OS.
Instead of charging for checked bags, they should give a discount for people with no carry-ons. This would expedite security, boarding, and probably end up saving airlines money. Checked luggage should be faster, easier, and free, to further discourage carry-on bags.
When a majority of people can stroll through security with not much more than their wallet and a paperback, the process will be more efficient and TSA will have more time to search the underwear of foreigners. Parents with small children would still need to carry-on bags so they should be banned from air travel.
2) We should pay the low level TSA agents $500k each time they find a bomb. $250k for a gun. Or maybe more than that. They should also be given small bonuses when security wait time exceeds a given service level for the entire shift.
3) When they check your ID matches your boarding pass before security they should ensure the boarding pass is not a forgery. Authorization doesn't work without authentication. This shouldn't be hard to do.
There's probably not very much that we can do about this. But only because the government is in charge of security and they are massively incompetent at everything except providing health care, I'm told.
But just for fun, here's a few ideas I would implement if I were in charge.
1) Except for businessmen and parents with small children, you don't really need ANY carry-on luggage. People only bring luggage on board because a) checked luggage is inconvenient and now expensive; and b) entertainment.
In-flight entertainment should be upgraded to include free movies and TV's on all flights. Flights should also have internet access, with portable keyboards that could be rented and work with the seatback screens and something like Chrome OS.
Instead of charging for checked bags, they should give a discount for people with no carry-ons. This would expedite security, boarding, and probably end up saving airlines money. Checked luggage should be faster, easier, and free, to further discourage carry-on bags.
When a majority of people can stroll through security with not much more than their wallet and a paperback, the process will be more efficient and TSA will have more time to search the underwear of foreigners. Parents with small children would still need to carry-on bags so they should be banned from air travel.
2) We should pay the low level TSA agents $500k each time they find a bomb. $250k for a gun. Or maybe more than that. They should also be given small bonuses when security wait time exceeds a given service level for the entire shift.
3) When they check your ID matches your boarding pass before security they should ensure the boarding pass is not a forgery. Authorization doesn't work without authentication. This shouldn't be hard to do.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
By now everyone knows that on Christmas day someone tried to blow up Northwest flight 253. This is a clear failing of the Obama administration. They have obviously not done a good enough job informing the world that we are closing down Guantanamo Bay, and that Islamic radicals have no reason to hate us anymore.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My idea for reducing our dependence on foreign oil: Putting shag carpeting on the highways and using the static shocks to power the cars.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My idea for an iPhone app: Turn your iPhone into a scale. Of course it wouldn't actually do that, I just want to see how many people I can trick into stepping on their iPhone.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Guy standing in front of my building: Hey are you from Landmark Realty?
Me: No, Sorry.
Couple in lobby clearly waiting for same Realtor: Hey are you from apt 6D?
Me: 6D! Thank goodness no. A real shame what happened to that lady. It took 3 weeks to clean up the crime scene.
Me: No, Sorry.
Couple in lobby clearly waiting for same Realtor: Hey are you from apt 6D?
Me: 6D! Thank goodness no. A real shame what happened to that lady. It took 3 weeks to clean up the crime scene.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Just in case you need another reason to not ruin a perfectly good Jack Daniels and a perfectly good Coke by mixing them together....
"When fructose reaches the liver," says Dr. William J. Whelan, a biochemist at the University of Miami School of Medicine, "the liver goes bananas and stops everything else to metabolize the fructose. (via)"The last thing you need when taxing your liver with alcohol is a heavy dose of high fructose corn syrup.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
"Roughly 47 percent of households, or 71 million, will not owe any federal income tax for 2009, according to estimates by the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center. That's good news for most of us."
In other news, CNN.com copy editors think 47% is "most of us."
Monday, August 24, 2009
Did you know that in the space travel industry there is a wide gulf between "haves" and "have nots?" Only a handful of employers provide space travel to their employees, and even they reserve this benefit to certain high level employees.
I find it curious then, that Obama apparently wants to privatize space travel. I mean to some extent it makes sense. Here we have an industry driven by complicated science and bleeding edge technology that has the ability to extend the life of our species, so opening up the industry to the free market would dramatically increase the quality and slash costs.
But what about the millions of Americans who don't have space travel options and would have to then negotiate with greedy corporations? Are they no less worthy of avoiding the next asteroid strike?
I think that is the wrong approach to take. Instead we can learn from what I'm sure will be his highly effective plan for the healthcare industry. First, we should upgrade the information technology currently in use in the space program. The flight systems on the space shuttle were installed in 1990 and have one MB of storage!
Second, we need more research into what works and what doesn't work. Currently we waste too much money on items pushed by lobbyists from Lockhead Martin without knowing if they are indeed the best.
Third, we need to focus on prevention. This doesn't really apply to space travel, but since it doesn't make sense for healthcare either I'm leaving this one in.
Once these measures have been implemented and trillions of dollars have been saved, the government will be able to provide space travel to everyone. This will be way better than private companies, who have no incentive to help consumers, other than needing to repeatedly provide something that these consumers are voluntarily willing to hand over their hard-earned money for.
I find it curious then, that Obama apparently wants to privatize space travel. I mean to some extent it makes sense. Here we have an industry driven by complicated science and bleeding edge technology that has the ability to extend the life of our species, so opening up the industry to the free market would dramatically increase the quality and slash costs.
But what about the millions of Americans who don't have space travel options and would have to then negotiate with greedy corporations? Are they no less worthy of avoiding the next asteroid strike?
I think that is the wrong approach to take. Instead we can learn from what I'm sure will be his highly effective plan for the healthcare industry. First, we should upgrade the information technology currently in use in the space program. The flight systems on the space shuttle were installed in 1990 and have one MB of storage!
Second, we need more research into what works and what doesn't work. Currently we waste too much money on items pushed by lobbyists from Lockhead Martin without knowing if they are indeed the best.
Third, we need to focus on prevention. This doesn't really apply to space travel, but since it doesn't make sense for healthcare either I'm leaving this one in.
Once these measures have been implemented and trillions of dollars have been saved, the government will be able to provide space travel to everyone. This will be way better than private companies, who have no incentive to help consumers, other than needing to repeatedly provide something that these consumers are voluntarily willing to hand over their hard-earned money for.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I think the government should start with an easier problem than giving out healthcare. For example, they could try starting with issuing people cards that give them the authority to drive a car. That should be pretty easy. Once we see how well they handle that we can give them more responsibility.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Listen, we all want cheap, high quality healthcare that everyone can afford. But trying to repeal the laws of economics to get us there is about as effective as trying to repeal the laws of gravity to reduce hip fractures in the elderly.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Timing
I bet David Blaine is pissed he wasn't born 2010 years ago...
I bet David Blaine is pissed he wasn't born 2010 years ago...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Why are there fat people at pet stores? How big IS their emotional void?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
This post combines two of my favorite things, the insanity of the current consensus belief on nutrition, and the massive ignorance of most journalists.
Seriously crazy stuff. Even if the journalists know nothing about nutrition or science or medicine, shouldn't they, being journalists, be able to do a little research and find someone on the other side of the story? Or know that perhaps they should compare the outrageous meal to a normal meal instead of a fasted state?
This is why TV & Newspapers are in trouble. Why get a story from someone who knows nothing about the subject but who is a "trained" writer when you can get the same story from a blogger who is a subject matter expert and writes almost as well and sometimes better?
BTW, ABC reporter Yuji de Nies does the ridiculous journalist voice they make fun of on the Simpsons.
Dr. Michael Eades should be Surgeon General. Or Secretary of HHS. Or both. Obama should make that "change."
Seriously crazy stuff. Even if the journalists know nothing about nutrition or science or medicine, shouldn't they, being journalists, be able to do a little research and find someone on the other side of the story? Or know that perhaps they should compare the outrageous meal to a normal meal instead of a fasted state?
This is why TV & Newspapers are in trouble. Why get a story from someone who knows nothing about the subject but who is a "trained" writer when you can get the same story from a blogger who is a subject matter expert and writes almost as well and sometimes better?
BTW, ABC reporter Yuji de Nies does the ridiculous journalist voice they make fun of on the Simpsons.
Dr. Michael Eades should be Surgeon General. Or Secretary of HHS. Or both. Obama should make that "change."
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I was recently favorably impressed with the meal options on a domestic flight in Croatia, on Croatia Airlines.
Asian Vegetarian Baby Food Bland Child Diabetic Fruit Platter Gluten Free High Fibre Hindu (non-veg) Kosher Low Calorie Low Fat Low Protein Low Sodium Moslem Non-lactose Oriental Low Purine Raw Vegetarian Seafood No Special Meal Vegetarian (non-dairy) Vegetarian (lacto-ovo)
Monday, June 01, 2009
Hi. I'm a Democrat.
I think it's a bad idea that the government is taking over General Motors, because political interference will make it hard to make good business decisions and the government is generally really bad at running things.
Oh, and I also think that the government should take over health care, because the government can do a better job running things than those profit-seeking capitalists -- and don't worry, tough decisions won't be handled politically, and there won't be rationing or price controls.
I think it's a bad idea that the government is taking over General Motors, because political interference will make it hard to make good business decisions and the government is generally really bad at running things.
Oh, and I also think that the government should take over health care, because the government can do a better job running things than those profit-seeking capitalists -- and don't worry, tough decisions won't be handled politically, and there won't be rationing or price controls.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I can't figure out whether to file this in the "What could possibly go wrong" folder, or the "We're from the government, and we're here to help" folder.
A few projects are decidedly low-tech. Take the plan to flood the border with a particular breed of wasp with a taste for Carrizo cane, a massive weed that grows in dense stands along the Rio Grande, providing cover to smugglers. Ms. Duong's scientists, working with the Department of Agriculture, tracked down the wasps in Spain and have spent two years watching the critters in a secure greenhouse -- gauging their appetites, assessing their role in a swampy ecosystem and finally breeding them into a swarm suitable for deployment on the Texas border.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Nobody begrudges a starving man who desperately seeks food.
Nobody belittles a man dying of thirst who will do anything for some water.
So why is it the sleep deprived man who endeavors to catch up by sleeping late or taking naps is scorned and viewed as lazy?
The complete lack of sleep will kill a person well before starvation and only slightly behind dehydration.
Skipping a night of sleep will hamper mental and physical performance way more than skipping a few meals.
Chronic sleep deprivation might be more detrimental to your health than a crappy diet.
So next time your employee is late to work because his alarm clock didn't go off -- rather than looking down upon him, give him your admiration as you would someone who drinks 8 glasses of water a day or eats many servings of fruit and vegetables.
Nobody belittles a man dying of thirst who will do anything for some water.
So why is it the sleep deprived man who endeavors to catch up by sleeping late or taking naps is scorned and viewed as lazy?
The complete lack of sleep will kill a person well before starvation and only slightly behind dehydration.
Skipping a night of sleep will hamper mental and physical performance way more than skipping a few meals.
Chronic sleep deprivation might be more detrimental to your health than a crappy diet.
So next time your employee is late to work because his alarm clock didn't go off -- rather than looking down upon him, give him your admiration as you would someone who drinks 8 glasses of water a day or eats many servings of fruit and vegetables.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Peter Orszag, Obama's Director of OMB, has the whole healthcare crisis figured out. In today's WSJ, he lays out his plan.
1) Ah yes computers. It's actually brilliant. They'll solve the healthcare problem just like putting them in classrooms fixed our public schools.
2) First of all, HMOs tried to do this and got pilloried by politicians. Also, doctors don't recommend things that don't improve health because they don't know any better, they do so because if they don't run every test and perform every procedure the trial lawyers that fund the Dem party will sue them.
3) The US Government has a pretty dismal record getting involved with prevention. The blew the single most important contributor to good health -- diet. By spending 20 years recommending people avoid fat at all costs and eat like 57 servings of grains, they f'ing caused the obesity epidemic they are now whining about. I shudder to think how they'll screw it up next.
4) The free market would accomplish this goal very easily. Incentives to deliver high quality at low prices are exactly what happens when you have to convince people to trade their money for your particular service over someone else's. But I doubt this is what Orszag has in mind. I'm sure it's some kind of monstrous technocratic jumble of taxes and subsidies that will only cause more distortions.
How can we move toward a high-quality, lower-cost system? There are four key steps:If this is the plan, we are all fucked. If you think about these points for 5 seconds, you realize:
1) health information technology, because we can't improve what we don't measure;
2) more research into what works and what doesn't, so doctors don't recommend treatments that don't improve health;
3) prevention and wellness, so that people do the things that keep them healthy and avoid costs associated with health risks such as smoking and obesity; and
4) changes in financial incentives for providers so that they are incentivized rather than penalized for delivering high-quality care.
1) Ah yes computers. It's actually brilliant. They'll solve the healthcare problem just like putting them in classrooms fixed our public schools.
2) First of all, HMOs tried to do this and got pilloried by politicians. Also, doctors don't recommend things that don't improve health because they don't know any better, they do so because if they don't run every test and perform every procedure the trial lawyers that fund the Dem party will sue them.
3) The US Government has a pretty dismal record getting involved with prevention. The blew the single most important contributor to good health -- diet. By spending 20 years recommending people avoid fat at all costs and eat like 57 servings of grains, they f'ing caused the obesity epidemic they are now whining about. I shudder to think how they'll screw it up next.
4) The free market would accomplish this goal very easily. Incentives to deliver high quality at low prices are exactly what happens when you have to convince people to trade their money for your particular service over someone else's. But I doubt this is what Orszag has in mind. I'm sure it's some kind of monstrous technocratic jumble of taxes and subsidies that will only cause more distortions.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Detroit
I have a plan for fixing the auto industry. Make every member of Congress transfer their retirement savings into a mutual fund holding GM, Ford, and Chrysler stock. I have a feeling the myriad rules and mandates that are now crushing the industry would vanish as quickly as you can say "ha ha we were totally kidding about that ridiculous electric car."
I have a plan for fixing the auto industry. Make every member of Congress transfer their retirement savings into a mutual fund holding GM, Ford, and Chrysler stock. I have a feeling the myriad rules and mandates that are now crushing the industry would vanish as quickly as you can say "ha ha we were totally kidding about that ridiculous electric car."
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Am I the only one who is tempted to fill out wedding invitation reply cards like this?
Person Name :
_x_ will __ will not be attending
_3_ steak
_0_ fish
_1_ vegetarian
Person Name :
_x_ will __ will not be attending
_3_ steak
_0_ fish
_1_ vegetarian
Monday, April 06, 2009
Advertising FAIL
The following is an actual transcript of an Apple iPhone commercial currently running:
Unfortunately, I just want to toss a football around, and I don't care how many calories are in my bacon cheeseburger, and my mental acuity is better than a Alzheimers patient... so at this point the AD WIZARDS have not really done a good job making the case for me to purchase an iPhone.
The following is an actual transcript of an Apple iPhone commercial currently running:
"What's great about the iphone, is that if you want to check snow conditions on the mountain, there's an app for that.So basically, the iPhone target market is people who can bail from their job to "shred" when there's good powder on mountain, then hit the lodge for some skinless chicken breasts for lunch, and then can't remember where the fuck they parked their Prius. Where is the app for the BLACK FUCKING TURTLENECK SALE with goatee trimming instructions and Gossip Girl updates!?!
If you want to check how many calories are in your lunch, there's an app for that.
And if you want to check exaactly where you parked the car, there's even an app for that."
Unfortunately, I just want to toss a football around, and I don't care how many calories are in my bacon cheeseburger, and my mental acuity is better than a Alzheimers patient... so at this point the AD WIZARDS have not really done a good job making the case for me to purchase an iPhone.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
"Out of the Office" automatic email replies should be, for the most part, extinct. It's 2009, and you should have an iPhone or Blackberry at this point.
If you are even remotely diligent about your work ethic, you will respond to important emails at night, on the weekends, when you are on business trips, when you are on vacation, etc.
When I get an OOO message, I assume the person:
1) Doesn't have a phone that can read email. This is a FAIL person.
2) Thinks "work" occurs at a physical location during a set time. FAIL person.
3) Neither 1 or 2, but still does OOO messages because that's what people used to do and they never re-evaluate whether certain processes are necessary. FAIL person.
If you are even remotely diligent about your work ethic, you will respond to important emails at night, on the weekends, when you are on business trips, when you are on vacation, etc.
When I get an OOO message, I assume the person:
1) Doesn't have a phone that can read email. This is a FAIL person.
2) Thinks "work" occurs at a physical location during a set time. FAIL person.
3) Neither 1 or 2, but still does OOO messages because that's what people used to do and they never re-evaluate whether certain processes are necessary. FAIL person.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Not the Preferred Nomenclature
I can't believe I have to tell you people this, but apparently I do. When you are using a document versioning system based on creation date, it is imperative that you use the following format for the date portion: yyyy-mm-dd.
If you don't put the year first it won't be sorted properly if it lasts more than one year. And if you don't zero-pad the dates less than 10, it'll put October before February.
TPS-Report_10-01-2025.xls
TPS-Report_10-02-2009.xls
TPS-Report_2-01-2009.xls
TPS-Report_4-01-1999.xls
I can't believe I have to tell you people this, but apparently I do. When you are using a document versioning system based on creation date, it is imperative that you use the following format for the date portion: yyyy-mm-dd.
If you don't put the year first it won't be sorted properly if it lasts more than one year. And if you don't zero-pad the dates less than 10, it'll put October before February.
TPS-Report_10-01-2025.xls
TPS-Report_10-02-2009.xls
TPS-Report_2-01-2009.xls
TPS-Report_4-01-1999.xls
Friday, March 20, 2009
If you look at who is currently residing in the White House you'll realize that our country has come a long way with tolerance. Because even as far back as 10-20 years ago, whole books were written about how people like this are sneaky and evil. Back in the 1950's these people were systematically sought out and blacklisted from certain careers. Yes, I'm talking about the fact that we can have a girl with a Russian name, Natasha (Sasha) Obama, living in the White House, is truly progress. F you Joe McCarthy.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Ratings Agencies [i.e. skip this post]
Some of you know that the ratings agencies (Moody's, S&P, the other one) pretty much caused this whole financial disaster. A combination of incompetence and conflicts of interest caused them to rate garbage bonds as AAA, without which investors wouldn't have bought them, thus banks wouldn't have created them, thus mortgage brokers couldn't have made insane loans, and thus housing prices would've stayed sane.
So the question is what to do now. Obviously having bond issuers pay for the ratings doesn't work. There are some other proposals being floated around to have a big pool of money from the buy side pay for "independent" ratings. This is an even worse idea, for the same reason that there is no good credit analysis coming out of Cuban financial firms.
So here's my idea:
Keep the status quo, whereby issuers pay the ratings agencies, but add a clause to all the bonds creating a put option requiring the ratings agencies to buy it back from the investor if certain accuracy metrics are not met. The put option could be capped at maybe 5x times fees collected by the ratings agency in the first place, so they would still have some incentive to issue a rating, but this would counter-act the conflict of interest with an even stronger incentive to hire smart people and do a good job.
Some of you know that the ratings agencies (Moody's, S&P, the other one) pretty much caused this whole financial disaster. A combination of incompetence and conflicts of interest caused them to rate garbage bonds as AAA, without which investors wouldn't have bought them, thus banks wouldn't have created them, thus mortgage brokers couldn't have made insane loans, and thus housing prices would've stayed sane.
So the question is what to do now. Obviously having bond issuers pay for the ratings doesn't work. There are some other proposals being floated around to have a big pool of money from the buy side pay for "independent" ratings. This is an even worse idea, for the same reason that there is no good credit analysis coming out of Cuban financial firms.
So here's my idea:
Keep the status quo, whereby issuers pay the ratings agencies, but add a clause to all the bonds creating a put option requiring the ratings agencies to buy it back from the investor if certain accuracy metrics are not met. The put option could be capped at maybe 5x times fees collected by the ratings agency in the first place, so they would still have some incentive to issue a rating, but this would counter-act the conflict of interest with an even stronger incentive to hire smart people and do a good job.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Facebook, When You're in Your 30's
Is half a diary of your friends' unfortunate ability to breed, and the other half a journal of people desperately trying to convince others they are still cool.
All in all -- pretty sad. But I can't get enough of it.
Seriously though, I don't really want to see pics of your kid, or updates on your parenting mishaps. I also don't want to see what cool bar you're DJing at tonight.
Is half a diary of your friends' unfortunate ability to breed, and the other half a journal of people desperately trying to convince others they are still cool.
All in all -- pretty sad. But I can't get enough of it.
Seriously though, I don't really want to see pics of your kid, or updates on your parenting mishaps. I also don't want to see what cool bar you're DJing at tonight.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Liberals Believe
taking money away from the fruits of the most valuable capital and labor in our economy, and spending it on things we wouldn't even approve when the economy was booming, will actually somehow increase our country's output.
Hope that helps clear up any confusion.
and also...A higher cigarette tax will encourage people to stop smoking. A carbon tax will encourage people to shift away from carbon-emitting, and toward "green" energy sources. An increase on the tax for charitable giving will reduce the incentive for donations.
and therefore...A higher tax on the outcome of capital investments will not stop people from investing in the future of our means of production and employment, and even if it did those are rich people who can afford it. A higher tax on the most valuable work being done in our economy (as set by a free market) will not cause those people to shift their time away from this work and towards leisure.
taking money away from the fruits of the most valuable capital and labor in our economy, and spending it on things we wouldn't even approve when the economy was booming, will actually somehow increase our country's output.
Hope that helps clear up any confusion.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
General Motors' auditor expressed doubts over the auto maker's survival. Apparently having full access to their books and management made Deloitte & Touche the LAST TO FUCKING KNOW THAT.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Workflow
When you take a taxi ride, you sit there for the duration of the ride with nothing to do but look out the window, then when you arrive at your destination, and are blocking traffic, you must scramble to calculate the tip and pay the driver.
That is stupid. NYC Taxis now take credit card. You should be able to swipe your card at any point during the trip and enter a percentage tip. The system could pre-auth some amount on your card, and when the ride is over you'd just have to, at most, hit a confirm button and hop out. This would save both you and the driver time and minimize traffic disruption.
When you take a taxi ride, you sit there for the duration of the ride with nothing to do but look out the window, then when you arrive at your destination, and are blocking traffic, you must scramble to calculate the tip and pay the driver.
That is stupid. NYC Taxis now take credit card. You should be able to swipe your card at any point during the trip and enter a percentage tip. The system could pre-auth some amount on your card, and when the ride is over you'd just have to, at most, hit a confirm button and hop out. This would save both you and the driver time and minimize traffic disruption.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday the 13th, 2004 was a day like any other. I had nothing to do at work. So I started this blog. Which means today is the 5th year anniversary!
I'm sure you are wondering about some key stats about this blog. Well, they are 428 total posts (net) and 8731 hits, which if you are a fan of meaningless ratios and unnecessary precision is 20.399953 hits per post.
In celebration, I'm going to link back to the post that started it all, and is probably still the best one. Enjoy.
I'm sure you are wondering about some key stats about this blog. Well, they are 428 total posts (net) and 8731 hits, which if you are a fan of meaningless ratios and unnecessary precision is 20.399953 hits per post.
In celebration, I'm going to link back to the post that started it all, and is probably still the best one. Enjoy.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
For spending our nation's resources,
"The market" : Congressional Appropriatorsis most similar to, for entrusting your household budget,
a) Your Jewish accountant : Your toddler
b) Your Goldman private banker : A heroin addict
c) Your Fidelity broker : Bernie Madoff
d) All of the above
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
New Idea for iPhone App
When you download it, it automatically sells your iPhone on eBay and orders you a blackberry.
When you download it, it automatically sells your iPhone on eBay and orders you a blackberry.
Monday, February 02, 2009
New Business Idea [probably already exists]
Sell a high quality notebook that comes with a sturdy but removable binding and a prepaid envelope to mail the notebook back when it is full. When the notebook is returned, it will be scanned and OCR'd (to the extent possible based on the content), and you will get a searchable PDF emailed to you.
I really would've liked to have this product/service in college and grad school. Instead of having all of my notes readily available, I either threw out the notebooks after the class ended or it's in a pile of crap somewhere I will probably never look at again.
This would also be great for professional services firms. Upon starting a new project each team member gets a notebook. At the end of the project, or when a team member "rotates off," the notebook is scanned and added to the project's digital files, for compliance purposes and retention of institutional knowledge.
With some of those industrial Google library scanners, it would probably be fairly cheap to implement the service.
Sell a high quality notebook that comes with a sturdy but removable binding and a prepaid envelope to mail the notebook back when it is full. When the notebook is returned, it will be scanned and OCR'd (to the extent possible based on the content), and you will get a searchable PDF emailed to you.
I really would've liked to have this product/service in college and grad school. Instead of having all of my notes readily available, I either threw out the notebooks after the class ended or it's in a pile of crap somewhere I will probably never look at again.
This would also be great for professional services firms. Upon starting a new project each team member gets a notebook. At the end of the project, or when a team member "rotates off," the notebook is scanned and added to the project's digital files, for compliance purposes and retention of institutional knowledge.
With some of those industrial Google library scanners, it would probably be fairly cheap to implement the service.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thought Experiment
There is some disagreement about how effective the stimulus package currently winding through Congress will be. Some economists think the government should spend a crapload of money, while others think they should give a crapload of money back to taxpayers.
I don't know. They both sound good to me. How can I figure out what I think they should do?
Imagine if Obama said that if you live west of the Mississippi, you will get $400B of spending on union construction projects, extended welfare and global warming research -- but no tax cut. If you live on the east side of the Mississippi, you will get a big tax cut but no money for the National Endowment for the Arts and all of your bridges will have to go to somewhere.
If you were in a boat going down the river when you heard this announcement, looking for a place to live, which bank would you head towards?
There is some disagreement about how effective the stimulus package currently winding through Congress will be. Some economists think the government should spend a crapload of money, while others think they should give a crapload of money back to taxpayers.
I don't know. They both sound good to me. How can I figure out what I think they should do?
Imagine if Obama said that if you live west of the Mississippi, you will get $400B of spending on union construction projects, extended welfare and global warming research -- but no tax cut. If you live on the east side of the Mississippi, you will get a big tax cut but no money for the National Endowment for the Arts and all of your bridges will have to go to somewhere.
If you were in a boat going down the river when you heard this announcement, looking for a place to live, which bank would you head towards?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Newspapers
For decades Kodak sold film. Then one day, the ISO/IEC Joint Technical Committee 1, Subcommittee 29, Working Group 1 invented JPGs and film rapidly became obsolete. Kodak now sells digital camera and does quite well I think, despite being located in backwards Rochester, NY.
Newspapers are in a similar situation. Their current business is going to zero as fast as you can say "wait keep standing there smiling I need to load another roll of film." It's idiotic to have yesterday's news printed on paper, loaded on a truck, thrown in your driveway, probably not read, placed in the recycling bin, and picked up by another truck.
The brightest minds in the business are racing to figure out what to do before their lenders shut off the lights. Unfortunately, these people, while well suited to report on the fact that they are going out of business, are not well suited to prevent the same. Even the normally saavy Silicon Alley Insider's plan is a weak attempt to delay the inevitable.
Fortunately, I am unencumbered by any actual understanding of the newspaper business, nor the humility to avoid displaying this fact, which allows me to suggest the following course of action.
There are clearly many people who still value receiving a hard copy of the newspaper and are willing to pay, whether it's because they want to read it while traveling, they are old people, or they just hate plants...like vegetarians.
Someone needs to create a standalone printer that end users could obtain, connects to the internet, and prints the daily newspaper in the user's home in the form factor of a traditional paper (large pages double sided, etc). Wireless inkjet printers are like $100, and I can't imagine designing one that meets those specifications would cost much more than that.
These devices could be sold to users, or given to them in exchange for their subscription, similar to a cable box. It would bring the following advantages to newspapers:
1) Almost free distribution (no factories and trucks)
2) International reach (you could print the paper from your home town if you wanted)
3) Removal of timing issues. You could, with no additional cost create an evening issue, or set the dang thing to print a few pages every hour if the user wanted.
4) Digital delivery without relying on [what will later be found to be ineffective] advertising, or online subscriptions fees, which do not work unless you are offering something useful like the WSJ or porn.
The New York Times is the ideal candidate to implement this plan. They have already done most of the work brainwashing their readership about the erroneous risk of global warming, and thus this can be pitched as some kind of premium-added-cost-plant-saving-CO2-reducing-Al-Gore-fellating version of the normal paper.
For decades Kodak sold film. Then one day, the ISO/IEC Joint Technical Committee 1, Subcommittee 29, Working Group 1 invented JPGs and film rapidly became obsolete. Kodak now sells digital camera and does quite well I think, despite being located in backwards Rochester, NY.
Newspapers are in a similar situation. Their current business is going to zero as fast as you can say "wait keep standing there smiling I need to load another roll of film." It's idiotic to have yesterday's news printed on paper, loaded on a truck, thrown in your driveway, probably not read, placed in the recycling bin, and picked up by another truck.
The brightest minds in the business are racing to figure out what to do before their lenders shut off the lights. Unfortunately, these people, while well suited to report on the fact that they are going out of business, are not well suited to prevent the same. Even the normally saavy Silicon Alley Insider's plan is a weak attempt to delay the inevitable.
Fortunately, I am unencumbered by any actual understanding of the newspaper business, nor the humility to avoid displaying this fact, which allows me to suggest the following course of action.
There are clearly many people who still value receiving a hard copy of the newspaper and are willing to pay, whether it's because they want to read it while traveling, they are old people, or they just hate plants...like vegetarians.
Someone needs to create a standalone printer that end users could obtain, connects to the internet, and prints the daily newspaper in the user's home in the form factor of a traditional paper (large pages double sided, etc). Wireless inkjet printers are like $100, and I can't imagine designing one that meets those specifications would cost much more than that.
These devices could be sold to users, or given to them in exchange for their subscription, similar to a cable box. It would bring the following advantages to newspapers:
1) Almost free distribution (no factories and trucks)
2) International reach (you could print the paper from your home town if you wanted)
3) Removal of timing issues. You could, with no additional cost create an evening issue, or set the dang thing to print a few pages every hour if the user wanted.
4) Digital delivery without relying on [what will later be found to be ineffective] advertising, or online subscriptions fees, which do not work unless you are offering something useful like the WSJ or porn.
The New York Times is the ideal candidate to implement this plan. They have already done most of the work brainwashing their readership about the erroneous risk of global warming, and thus this can be pitched as some kind of premium-added-cost-plant-saving-CO2-reducing-Al-Gore-fellating version of the normal paper.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I think people who are into auto-erotic asphyxiation should always write a suicide note before doing their thing, so in case they go too far and accidentally kill themselves it just looks like they were sad, not a perv.
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Rules
When filling up your bowl at self-serve Mongolian BBQ, acceptable items are meat, fish, and vegetables. Unacceptable items are rice and noodles.
Fortunately few people follow this rule, which allows my BBQ to be cheaper than it would have to be if they did. I like to take advantage of stupidity subsidies.
Others include:
1) New Years resolution gym contracts make membership cheaper for the rest of us.
2) People who buy electric and hybrid cars at great expense to themselves lower demand for gasoline making it cheaper for SUV owners.
When filling up your bowl at self-serve Mongolian BBQ, acceptable items are meat, fish, and vegetables. Unacceptable items are rice and noodles.
Fortunately few people follow this rule, which allows my BBQ to be cheaper than it would have to be if they did. I like to take advantage of stupidity subsidies.
Others include:
1) New Years resolution gym contracts make membership cheaper for the rest of us.
2) People who buy electric and hybrid cars at great expense to themselves lower demand for gasoline making it cheaper for SUV owners.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
How do they convince people to be the requisite "witnesses" at Mafia weddings?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
It turns out that my ATM pin is the 4th most common password of all time. I think I'm going to have to find something further down on the list.
Friday, January 09, 2009
New Business Idea
Everyone hates going on vacation and walking around holding a guide book in your hand. Every few blocks you have to stop and examine it while the locals step around you rolling their eyes and petty thieves size you up as easy prey.
That is why I would like to start a new line of tourism guide books. I will take currently existing guide books, and bind them with a new cover in the local language of the destination saying, for example, "Ulan Bator Ninja Academy - Official Rules and Regulations." The picture will not be of the main tourist spot or the country's natural wonders, it will be of a scary looking guy with nun chucks or maybe even a bow staff.
Now, if you need to look for a place to eat or consult the guide book's map, you can hold the book up proudly and glare at the locals walking by.
Everyone hates going on vacation and walking around holding a guide book in your hand. Every few blocks you have to stop and examine it while the locals step around you rolling their eyes and petty thieves size you up as easy prey.
That is why I would like to start a new line of tourism guide books. I will take currently existing guide books, and bind them with a new cover in the local language of the destination saying, for example, "Ulan Bator Ninja Academy - Official Rules and Regulations." The picture will not be of the main tourist spot or the country's natural wonders, it will be of a scary looking guy with nun chucks or maybe even a bow staff.
Now, if you need to look for a place to eat or consult the guide book's map, you can hold the book up proudly and glare at the locals walking by.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
In today's WSJ, we learn about a Pakistani journalist who escaped from a kidnapping.
"As negotiations dragged on for weeks, his guards relaxed. They gave Mr. Afridi scissors to trim his moustache. Eventually, he used the scissors to pick the lock that chained him to his bed."This Magnum PI Macguyver mother fucker used a MOUSTACHE Trimmer to escape! I hereby induct him into the MyATMPinis1234 Moustache Hall of Fame.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Next time you buy a new car, don't waste the opportunity.
Buy a large red bow, place it on top of the car, and spend at least a week parking it in front of random neighbors' houses.
Buy a large red bow, place it on top of the car, and spend at least a week parking it in front of random neighbors' houses.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
My New Year's resolution is to get 1000 more resolutions. I bet you suckers wasted it on something like losing weight!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Says this guy...
Because you can't remove $850 Billion from the productive economy, throw it at a bevy of politically motivated but highly unproductive uses, and call that a stimulus. It's actually almost exactly the opposite of that.
By contrast, think about what else we could do with that money. In 2007 the IRS collected a total of $1,117,599,983,000 from personal income taxes (xls). Obama could forego the current plan and give back 76% of all income tax and capital gains tax dollars paid by Americans next year. That would be one HELL of a stimulus.
"I have faith that Obama's [stimulus] plans will ultimately bolster the economy in some way, shape, or form."As a reminder, faith is what's required to believe in something in the absence of any logical or reasonable basis for doing so. It's usually used in the context of believing in a supernatural power that controls human destiny, so I guess it's apt, since that is what we will need to avoid economic calamity.
Because you can't remove $850 Billion from the productive economy, throw it at a bevy of politically motivated but highly unproductive uses, and call that a stimulus. It's actually almost exactly the opposite of that.
By contrast, think about what else we could do with that money. In 2007 the IRS collected a total of $1,117,599,983,000 from personal income taxes (xls). Obama could forego the current plan and give back 76% of all income tax and capital gains tax dollars paid by Americans next year. That would be one HELL of a stimulus.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Google helpfully provides phrase completion when typing in search terms. Most people apparently use Google to find out information about drugs. Should I know what "implantation bleeding" is? I was too afraid to click on the search...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
If the only thing you knew about me was the list of books Amazon thinks I might be interested in, you would think that I was a king-sized douche bag.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Everyone knows that additional carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is a terrible thing. For example, at concentrations of 7%, which is only 6.97% higher than the current level, people experience "dizziness, headache, visual and hearing dysfunction, and unconsciousness within a few minutes to an hour (reference)." So clearly we need to do something about the problem now, before unconsciousness happens.
The question is what to do. The internal combustion engine in most cars today runs at about 20% efficiency. That means for every 10 energies that are produced, 8 of them are wasted. 8 of them!
In contrast, consider electric cars. Most electric power in the U.S. is produced by coal fired power plants, the turbines of which run at about 35% efficiency. This is higher than 20%, and in this context higher is better. Of course, your car isn't plugged in to the turbine, so when the power is transmitted it loses another 7% along the way. Oh yeah, and then batteries are only 80% efficient, so then it loses another 20%. And I almost forgot, coal produces way more CO2 per pound of energy than gasoline.
Wait a second, actually now that I think about battery powered cars don't seem to be that great of an idea.
The question is what to do. The internal combustion engine in most cars today runs at about 20% efficiency. That means for every 10 energies that are produced, 8 of them are wasted. 8 of them!
In contrast, consider electric cars. Most electric power in the U.S. is produced by coal fired power plants, the turbines of which run at about 35% efficiency. This is higher than 20%, and in this context higher is better. Of course, your car isn't plugged in to the turbine, so when the power is transmitted it loses another 7% along the way. Oh yeah, and then batteries are only 80% efficient, so then it loses another 20%. And I almost forgot, coal produces way more CO2 per pound of energy than gasoline.
Wait a second, actually now that I think about battery powered cars don't seem to be that great of an idea.
Friday, December 12, 2008
There has been much in the news lately about the piracy epidemic off the coast of Somalia, affecting the important shipping lanes to the suez canal.
Many people point out that it is a very large area to patrol, and even when pirates are captured it is a confusing legal problem of what to do with them. This has prevented the Navies of the world from stamping out the problem.
I would like to propose a solution.
We should give each cargo and cruise ship a satellite phone and an AN/PED-1 Lightweight Laser Designator Rangefinder. When a pirate ship begins to attack, they would simply call up the US Navy and use the LLDR to act as their own personal forward air controller.
After the first few times a pirate ship got hit by a Hellfire missle from a predator drone circling the area, I imagine piracy would become a lot less appealing.
Many people point out that it is a very large area to patrol, and even when pirates are captured it is a confusing legal problem of what to do with them. This has prevented the Navies of the world from stamping out the problem.
I would like to propose a solution.
We should give each cargo and cruise ship a satellite phone and an AN/PED-1 Lightweight Laser Designator Rangefinder. When a pirate ship begins to attack, they would simply call up the US Navy and use the LLDR to act as their own personal forward air controller.
After the first few times a pirate ship got hit by a Hellfire missle from a predator drone circling the area, I imagine piracy would become a lot less appealing.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Economics
If a pharmaceutical company invented a hangover cure pill, what would they be able to charge for it?
If you are really hungover, you would pay pretty much anything for it, but unfortunately you would probably be too hungover to go out and buy it.
If you are not [yet] hungover, you would be able to go buy it, but probably wouldn't be willing to spend too much for it.
If a pharmaceutical company invented a hangover cure pill, what would they be able to charge for it?
If you are really hungover, you would pay pretty much anything for it, but unfortunately you would probably be too hungover to go out and buy it.
If you are not [yet] hungover, you would be able to go buy it, but probably wouldn't be willing to spend too much for it.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
People who have defaulted on their mortgage and still go to Starbucks should be sent to debtors' prison.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I am confused. Should I go to Zales, Kay, or Jared?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
General Motors is losing money hand over fist. Their executives and many Democratic congressmen are running around pleading for the government to write billion dollar checks to help them pay their bills and re-tool to produce more fuel efficient cars.
This whole thing is going to make my head explode.
1) I have seen many claims about the number of jobs that will be lost if the auto industry "goes under," ranging from several hundred thousand to several million if you include the dealer network and suppliers. Really? Does anyone think they will just shut off the lights, lock the doors, and say "we had a good run."
Because that is not what happens in a bankruptcy. Obviously some people will lose their jobs, starting with management, but the factories will stay open, cars will get built, and everything will still chug along. When Macy's went bankrupt did the stores close down? When Delta Airlines when bankrupt did they ground all the planes and close the airports? No, that didn't happen. So why is everyone running around saying a million people are going to lose their jobs? Even if that did happen, those people would all just get jobs, in America, at Toyota, because Americans will still need to purchase cars.
2) The even more boneheaded thing is the universally agreed upon "true fact" that the U.S. auto manufacturers need to redesign their product lines to be more "green."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT STUPID. Americans have already demonstrated time and time again that they don't want shitty little cars that have no power and get great gas mileage. Yeah, there were short-lived blips where this was not so, caused in the 1970's by the Sheiks and in 2008 by the Federal Reserve, but other than during exceptional times, Americans want trucks and cars that go fast. Are BMW and Mercedes running out of cash? No. Do they make fuel efficient cars? Not really. In fact, they don't even follow the current CAFE fuel efficiency standards, electing instead to just pay the fines.
So how is it going to help American auto manufacturers by forcing them to build cars that Americans want even less? They should call this plan the "Japanese and German Automotive Industry Full Employment Act of 2008." Yes, it will be awesome for our country when American cars are as reliable as MY FUCKING LAPTOP BATTERY. Or run off used Chinese restaurant cooking oil.
This whole thing is going to make my head explode.
1) I have seen many claims about the number of jobs that will be lost if the auto industry "goes under," ranging from several hundred thousand to several million if you include the dealer network and suppliers. Really? Does anyone think they will just shut off the lights, lock the doors, and say "we had a good run."
Because that is not what happens in a bankruptcy. Obviously some people will lose their jobs, starting with management, but the factories will stay open, cars will get built, and everything will still chug along. When Macy's went bankrupt did the stores close down? When Delta Airlines when bankrupt did they ground all the planes and close the airports? No, that didn't happen. So why is everyone running around saying a million people are going to lose their jobs? Even if that did happen, those people would all just get jobs, in America, at Toyota, because Americans will still need to purchase cars.
2) The even more boneheaded thing is the universally agreed upon "true fact" that the U.S. auto manufacturers need to redesign their product lines to be more "green."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT STUPID. Americans have already demonstrated time and time again that they don't want shitty little cars that have no power and get great gas mileage. Yeah, there were short-lived blips where this was not so, caused in the 1970's by the Sheiks and in 2008 by the Federal Reserve, but other than during exceptional times, Americans want trucks and cars that go fast. Are BMW and Mercedes running out of cash? No. Do they make fuel efficient cars? Not really. In fact, they don't even follow the current CAFE fuel efficiency standards, electing instead to just pay the fines.
So how is it going to help American auto manufacturers by forcing them to build cars that Americans want even less? They should call this plan the "Japanese and German Automotive Industry Full Employment Act of 2008." Yes, it will be awesome for our country when American cars are as reliable as MY FUCKING LAPTOP BATTERY. Or run off used Chinese restaurant cooking oil.
