MyATMPinIs1234

I would like to offer my congratulations to the deli below my apartment for their recent upgrade in status from the Department of Health, to non-remediated critical deficiency.

The ACLU can't be happy about this...

"As killer gunman approached, teacher prayed"

"God be with us. God help us," 15-year-old Ashley Lajeunesse heard Rogers say after she told students to hide as gunman Jeff Weise fired through a window and marched into the room.

How many times do we have to tell these teachers that you can't pray in a public school?

Just when I thought the Dukes of Hazzard couldn't get any better, Tivo found an episode guest starring Cale Yarborough. 83 career NASCAR wins and a fine actor to boot.

Why can't Ted Kennedy just give Terri Schiavo a ride in his car and get this whole thing done with?

Why do I even have kitchen cabinets? It would be easier to just have two dishwashers with some inventive system for indicating which is the clean one at the current point in time. I think the next time I have a kitchen larger than my wingspan, I will do that.

Also, my next nightclub will have midget bouncers and doormen, although not for the sake of operational effectiveness like my first comment.

And for today's comment that I probably should keep to myself (unlike the others), I'm not happy about the 4 hours I wasted before I realized that MySQL didn't support subqueries until 4.1, and modeling them as an outer join is a pain in the arse with my persistence manager.

Here's a tale of a wingman conversation gone awry:

me: so how do you guys know each other (referring to girl talking to my friend)
girl: we're sisters.
me: cool, which one is older?
girl: we're identical twins. are you some kind of idiot?
me: apparently.

Oh the irony...

Due to a computer glitch at the bank, my ATM pin was temporarily 1234 the other day. When they told me such, I remarked how it sounded like the code some idiot would put on his luggage. Lack of hilarity ensued.

I could write a treatise on why I don't like Mac computers, a subject that has, to steal from Dan Henninger, "taken up residence in that part of my mind reserved for persistent obsessions."

But you guys don't want to read a treatise, you want to see pictures. Trust me, it tells you more than the case.

In the news today, Boeing fired their CEO...

"On the call, Mr. Platt said the extramarital relationship wasn't a violation of Boeing's code of ethics. But, according to the code, employees aren't permitted to behave in a way that could cause embarrassment to the company, and the board determined that Mr. Stonecipher's actions, if they became public, could cause embarrassment to Boeing, Mr. Platt said."

So they fired him and MADE IT PUBLIC.

A year or two ago, there were three actresses I was enthralled with. There still are three, but one of the originals is no longer in the list. Can you name both lists (4 total)?

By the way, the #1 definition for enthralled is:
1 : to hold in or reduce to slavery

I think I might be using that word wrongly.