Thursday, February 26, 2004
Outsourcing to India
I'm sick of all you people who are constantly whining about how all the computer jobs are moving to India. Don't you think that they're pissed off that all the Yoga instructor jobs are moving to American strip malls? If you're really worried about your job moving to India, I say learn a skill that can't be done in pajamas.
I'm sick of all you people who are constantly whining about how all the computer jobs are moving to India. Don't you think that they're pissed off that all the Yoga instructor jobs are moving to American strip malls? If you're really worried about your job moving to India, I say learn a skill that can't be done in pajamas.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Charlie, I know that everyone has the right to express themselves, but I noticed something on your forehead today that is really bothering me. I can't have a conversation with you without my eyes wandering to it and I ask myself what kind of sick cultish doctrine would make people put something filthy on the middle of their forehead. Mr. Manson, I have an issue with your swastika tattoo.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Regarding the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict
The politicians and bureaucrats have done a terrible job solving this sucker. I say it's time that the clowns in Foggy Bottom step aside and let some engineers take a stab at the problem.
After a thorough analysis of all possible solutions, it is my conclusion that the most effective, and least costly way to end suicide bombings is to make all Palestinians wear those bodysuits that the Olympic speedskaters sport.
In addition, I'm pretty sure it would be an easy sell. The Israelis get no more suicide bombings, and the Palestinians get improved wicking of perspiration.
The politicians and bureaucrats have done a terrible job solving this sucker. I say it's time that the clowns in Foggy Bottom step aside and let some engineers take a stab at the problem.
After a thorough analysis of all possible solutions, it is my conclusion that the most effective, and least costly way to end suicide bombings is to make all Palestinians wear those bodysuits that the Olympic speedskaters sport.
In addition, I'm pretty sure it would be an easy sell. The Israelis get no more suicide bombings, and the Palestinians get improved wicking of perspiration.
Who is the comedian at American Airlines?
------
From: AA Net SAAver Fares
To: Me
Subject: American Airlines Net SAAver Fares
...
$249 New York Kennedy, NY (JFK) Port Au Prince, Haiti (PAP)
------
Is this just in case I want to check out the 50 Marines we sent down to protect our embassy?
------
From: AA Net SAAver Fares
To: Me
Subject: American Airlines Net SAAver Fares
...
$249 New York Kennedy, NY (JFK) Port Au Prince, Haiti (PAP)
------
Is this just in case I want to check out the 50 Marines we sent down to protect our embassy?
Monday, February 23, 2004
Word of the day: Recursive
More subway news...
This morning a nice lady walked through my car requesting charity. She said, "can someone help out a person who hadn't ate all day?" I decided that I could indeed help her out. I waited for her to make her way down to where I was standing and as she approached I said, "hasn't eaten."
It feels good to make a difference.
*Note to readers: Please do not comment on any grammar or spelling mistakes in this post or any other post. Assume they are intentional and meant to be ironic. Thanks.
This morning a nice lady walked through my car requesting charity. She said, "can someone help out a person who hadn't ate all day?" I decided that I could indeed help her out. I waited for her to make her way down to where I was standing and as she approached I said, "hasn't eaten."
It feels good to make a difference.
*Note to readers: Please do not comment on any grammar or spelling mistakes in this post or any other post. Assume they are intentional and meant to be ironic. Thanks.
Friday, February 20, 2004
I met an interesting guy on the subway this morning. Our conversation really pointed out to me that every career has its downsides, and everyone thinks their own job sucks.
Joe: What do you do?
Cesar: Bikini Inspector
Joe: That is the greatest job ever!
Cesar: Not really – you try inspecting 75 bikinis an hour in a dimly lit, un-airconditioned Honduran factory for 18 hours a day.
Joe: Huh
Cesar: And the kids keep fucking up the sewing.
Joe: What do you do?
Cesar: Bikini Inspector
Joe: That is the greatest job ever!
Cesar: Not really – you try inspecting 75 bikinis an hour in a dimly lit, un-airconditioned Honduran factory for 18 hours a day.
Joe: Huh
Cesar: And the kids keep fucking up the sewing.
I would like to briefly discuss the impending ATM PIN disaster.
I, like most people, am careful to ensure the privacy and security of my financial situation. As such, I have adopted the conservative position of changing the PIN number on my bank account on a nightly basis using a hashing algorithm to produce a sequence of non-repeating 4 digit numbers. Now my bank does not allow PINs to start with zero, so there are 9000 possible codes to choose from (8999 if you count that I would never use 1234 -- which is the code some idiot would put on his luggage).
I figure that I have already used approximately 3600 codes in the 10 years that I've had my bank account, which leaves me with around 14 years of PIN codes remaining. I personally won't start to worry for another 4 or 5 years, but what about the people that have had their accounts longer than me, or the paranoid folks who change the PIN 2 or 3 times a day? I'm sure there are millions of Americans that will be bumping up against the 9000 code limit in the next few years.
The financial industry really needs to wake up and get on the ball. As a stopgap measure migrating to a 5 or 6 digit PIN would be adequate, but why not plan for the future today? I suggest expanding the PIN to 8 digits and modifying all ATM keypads to accept hexidecimal codes. I realize that this might involve some expense, but I can assure you that it is MUCH cheaper than having to reuse previous, possibly compromised, codes.
P.S. For all those assholes that are going to point out that PIN already includes the word 'number' and thus 'pin number' is redundant, I say F--K YOU.
I, like most people, am careful to ensure the privacy and security of my financial situation. As such, I have adopted the conservative position of changing the PIN number on my bank account on a nightly basis using a hashing algorithm to produce a sequence of non-repeating 4 digit numbers. Now my bank does not allow PINs to start with zero, so there are 9000 possible codes to choose from (8999 if you count that I would never use 1234 -- which is the code some idiot would put on his luggage).
I figure that I have already used approximately 3600 codes in the 10 years that I've had my bank account, which leaves me with around 14 years of PIN codes remaining. I personally won't start to worry for another 4 or 5 years, but what about the people that have had their accounts longer than me, or the paranoid folks who change the PIN 2 or 3 times a day? I'm sure there are millions of Americans that will be bumping up against the 9000 code limit in the next few years.
The financial industry really needs to wake up and get on the ball. As a stopgap measure migrating to a 5 or 6 digit PIN would be adequate, but why not plan for the future today? I suggest expanding the PIN to 8 digits and modifying all ATM keypads to accept hexidecimal codes. I realize that this might involve some expense, but I can assure you that it is MUCH cheaper than having to reuse previous, possibly compromised, codes.
P.S. For all those assholes that are going to point out that PIN already includes the word 'number' and thus 'pin number' is redundant, I say F--K YOU.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
New idea for a reality TV show:
People having sex on camera. I think this might have to go on cable though.
They would optionally be able to act out scenarios, e.g. cable guy appointment,
driving the babysitter home...
People having sex on camera. I think this might have to go on cable though.
They would optionally be able to act out scenarios, e.g. cable guy appointment,
driving the babysitter home...
There is something that has been bothering me for quite a long time and I feel that I have to get it off my chest. Every day on my way to work, I must walk by another building that is under construction. In front of this building are several large garbage trucks that have printed on them "Interior Demolition - 24 Hours, Radio Dispatched." Is there anyone that really needs radio dispatched interior demolition? Is it really that hard to call the day before for an interior demolition appointment? I think instant gratification in our society has gone overboard.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Thank you for reading my blog. Now please leave.
