MyATMPinIs1234

Fuck Apple Computers and fuck their commercials. Perhaps I'm revealing my own feelings of inadequacy, but why should I be made to feel like a loser by a company whose raison d’être is to produce a computer for people that are too stupid to use real grown-up person computers. I'll give you a free pass for using macs if you are in desktop publishing and it's currently 1988.

Here is a composite profile of a person I don't like. Long haired skinny dude, sitting in Starbucks, surfing on his Macbook with an Obama sticker on it, sipping a soy milk anything.

For comparison, here's the profile of a person I really like. A topless brunette, profession unimportant, political preference unimportant, without a computer, sitting on my couch watching Law and Order.

America has many problems. Most of them would be solved if we found out that Iphones cause sterility.

"I'm thinking different by capitalizing the second letter in the word." I think the point of this post is that Apple is gay. And not the cool kind of gay where dudes bone dudes and have sweet clothes. I'm talking about the kind of gay where you are just lame and may or may not bone other dudes. You know what I'm talking about.

Has anyone actually asked why the Hollywood writers even have a union in the first place? Aren't they highly skilled knowledge workers, just like lawyers, accountants, and programmers? So why can't each of these people enter into a contract with their employer just like the rest of us? And why do they get residuals? Do programmers [code writers] get a check sent to them each time some kid pops in a DVD of their computer game?

The answer is that these assholes are trying to create a cartel to artificially raise their salaries. Normally there is a trade-off between how enjoyable a job is and how much you must be compensated to do it every day. A very enjoyable job (TV writer) should have a high supply of labor and very low prices relative to a less enjoyable job requiring the same intellectual capacity. They want to be paid well to do something fun. Maybe that would work if they had a specialized skillset, but you and I know, you could go hire the local college humor newspaper editor and he would do a fine job.

I have news for you writers union. You can't avoid the laws of economics. You might want to talk to some of the fine UAW workers in Flint, MI about this. If you keep this up much longer you will be replaced with non-unionized reality TV, internet TV, or maybe something cool I don't even know about yet.

Today I was sitting behind a big group of people who had apparently just finished the Susan Koman breast cancer walk, although I don't like to assume, so perhaps they just all decided to wear the T-shirt on the same day.

Anyway, as I sat in the IHOP eating my pancakes something drew my eye to a startling fact printed on each of those t-shirts, with which I had been previously unaware.

"The greatest risk factors for breast cancer are being a woman and growing older."

Holy crap!!! I have one of the two greatest risk factors for breast cancer!

Every photo I see these days of Hillary on the campaign trail, her daughter Chelsea is in the pic. Doesn't Chelsea still work at the hedge fund Avenue Capital?

I have friends that worked at Avenue and other hedge funds, and they work pretty much around the clock. I once saw one friend at Starbucks with a stack of annual reports late Sunday night on Memorial day weekend.

I guess Chelsea must know someone, to be able to take that many vacation days.

Immigration Rant (or why illegal aliens are like Harvard Students)

What do drugs, alcohol, and illegal aliens have in common? They are all economic goods (yes, labor is a good) that are in high demand in this country, yet their supply has been artificially limited by government fiat. We know what happens when the market is disrupted like this. The good is supplied anyway, but it's supplied by criminals and gangsters in an unregulated underground.

So why do the Presidential candidates keep talking about securing the borders? Common sense and all evidence suggests that it's just not possible. We've been trying to keep drugs out of the country for years, and frankly, I know people that call and order pizza and weed, and the weed gets delivered first. The mighty USSR couldn't even stop a black market in BLUE JEANS, which to my knowledge, were not actively running or swimming in.

Of course illegal drugs and illegal immigrants don't have everything in common. One difference is that the immigrants are critical to our economy.

So how are illegal immigrants like Harvard students?

Both groups of people have gotten in to places that have brutal restrictions and qualifications for entry, and as such, both groups of people are the ones that are the smartest and most talented of their cohort, willing to work like slaves to ensure a better future. Or they were already rich, but either way, we could not DESIGN a better way to select which of the 6 billion people we should let in to this country.

To put it another way, we are saying that the person who risked their lives to come here, the person who is willing to slave away because they believe in themselves and their ability to create a better life for their children, are the people we DON'T want here. We want the people who sit on their sombrero back home and wait in line.

By now I'm sure you're thinking, "wow...I started today being against illegals, but you are clearly right. My remaining concern is that I don't think we can reward law breakers."

They are breaking the law alright! They are breaking the law like the man who exceeds the speed limit to get his pregnant wife to the hospital when she is in labor? They both have broken a law setting an arbitrary limit, and have taken a risk, but have harmed no one, and did so for the health and safety of their family. So I'd say for consistency, we should kick out all the illegals, and then start pulling over ambulances for speeding.

So we've established that illegal immigration is the economic response of our government's forced suppression of a clearing market, and we've established that the illegal immigrants that are here are pretty much the ones we want here, and we've established that they have some justification for committing a victim-less crime.

So what, exactly, is the problem? What is happening that is bad enough to justify Orwellian biometric national ID cards? Because I, for one, don't want to have to say to our friendly government official, "No sir, you cannot see my papers, and you are not my comrade" for the privilege of paying triple for Christmas trees harvested by UAW members.

It might seem like a small number, but today you wasted .0018% of your life sitting around at your job doing things that are probably immaterial to your own company's success, let alone to the progress of humanity.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled TPS report...