MyATMPinIs1234

It was interesting, the cayenne pepper beer. But when I asked them to "kick it up a notch" on the next round, I was unprepared for the pint of fire ants they called the habanero beer. It was like drinking napalm.

Anyone in the New York City area must try the BBQ establishment Spanky's on 43rd St. It is really fricken amazing.

Oil at $60 a barrel? I don't give a hoot. I only use minimal amounts of North Sea Brent Crude to keep my hair in place.

Beef prices nearing a record high for grilling season? Time to vote those good-for-nothing rascals out of office!

I'm a little suspicious whenever I see a 9-0 decision. How can something that clear cut get all the way to SCOTUS? Especially a reversal. Is Sandy really that much smarter than the appellates? She really does need to loosen up though.

But back to the issue at hand. What happens if 8 justices have to recuse themselves? Then we have one unelected person making the decision for the whole country. Isn't that what we fought the Revolution over?

I'm glad we did though. It was one thing being subjugated by guys wearing those intimidating red coats, but once the Brit army switched to Khaki shorts that would've just been embarrassing. You can see the resentment in Thomas Magnum's eyes.

I used to decide what to eat based on which take-out menu looked most appealing. Now, with the advent of Freshdirect, I decide what to eat based on what is furthest past the expiration date, or what is the most rotten without being inedible.

That would suck to be one of those people who eats when they're nervous, and also be bulimic, and also be really nervous.

And since you're here.

Women love men with nice thick hair. They'll stroke it and run their fingers through it. A couple times a year, on special occasions, they'll even put certain hairs in their mouths. So why is it that as soon as the hair detaches from your body and sticks to a piece of soap, it's suddenly a level 4 biohazard, requiring a disposal protocol usually reserved for ebola?

What a name...

FBI spokesman Rex Tomb couldn't give more details about the case, saying only that "we're looking into it. But there's nothing more we can say at this time. It's a pending case."

You might not believe it, but I too am concerned about the amount of gasoline our country burns each day with our cars and trucks. That is why I have designed a radical new hybrid car technology that should significantly address those concerns. During normal operation and acceleration, the vehicle uses a regular gasoline combustion engine. But during stop lights and cruising speeds when not as much power is needed, it switches to coal.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. I think more of our young actresses should embrace science. Conversion is important, because otherwise the probe will crash into Uranus.

Yes, I am talking about Katie Holmes. She who, aside from an extraneous character (letter), helps me remember the names of the great lakes.

It must be really hard for the kids of professional crime scene investigators to get away with anything. Like when they come home from a weekend vacation and the house is completely trashed. Well not exactly like that, because you don't have to be a CSI to figure that one out, but you know what I mean. You could tell your daughter's date that when she returns home you will wand her with that UV light for any indication of blood or semen. Then what fun could they have?

There are some people who are worried about the rising power of China. I recently read something that may give those people more to worry about. Here is a list of the rulers of China, the members of the elite Politburo Standing Committee, and their college degrees:

Hu Jintao (President), Water Conservancy Engineering
Huang Ju, Electical Engineering
Jia Qinglin, Electical Power Engineering
Li Changchun, Electric Machinery Engineering
Luo Gan, Mining and Technology
Wen Jiaboa, Geology and Mineral Engineering
Wu Bangguo, Radio Engineering
Wu Guanzheng, Power Engineering
Zeng Qinghond, Automatic Controls Engineering

Of course, this isn't helping China get any more pussy.

Yet another corporation lost sensitive customer information. UPS has apologized for misplacing the tapes with Citigroup's customer information, but damn dudes, has anyone ever heard of freaking encryption? I'm not asking them to use one time pads or anything, but, wait a sec... I'm a customer of Citigroup! Yeah, I want them to use one time pads. Fuckers.

If I was President, one of my first orders of business would be to have the Secret Service agents protecting me dress in track suits and sneakers. If Clint Eastwood has to dive in front of a bullet to protect me, every second counts in making sure some hard working career law enforcement official gets the bullet instead of the highly offensive and controversial President I would be.

I just dropped Denise, Theodore Aloysius, Vanessa, and Rudith Lillian off at the pool.

On the morning of Sept 11, 2001, I was at home, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, enmeshed in this book -- about a plot by Osama Bin Laden to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge.

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
-Mohandas Gandhi

Only if everyone does two things wrong.
-Me