MyATMPinIs1234

I just dropped Manute Bol off at the pool (and made $20 doing it -- see calculator in previous post).

Which reminds me, I wish someone would write a song/rap that rhymed 'deuce droppage' with Goose Gossage. I suspect it would be a great song.

I seem to have access to blogger for now... just have to think of something to say.

My company blocked access to blogger, so posted might be limited until I find a workaround.

Woohoo! I finally figured out how to make $$$$ from my home computer with absolutely no risk.

It's actually pretty cool. If you want to try it out, press Shift-4 four times.

I think John Edwards should show up to the debate dressed as "unfrozen caveman lawyer" from SNL. I would definitely vote for him.

Something is just downright fishy with this new survey out purporting that the average (mean) Manhattan apartment sold for over $1M last month.

OK - so the median price for apartments in Manhattan was $674k. Who are all these rich people and where are they. HALF of all purchases last month were above that amount? I just don't understand how that is possible. Your monthly mortgage payment alone would be over $3400! With utilities and maintenance, we're talking $4500 a month.

Looking elsewhere, we see that the median household income in Manhattan is $47,000. So the median household is making $2500/month after taxes, but paying $4500 for their apartment?

I work on friggin Wall Street, and no one I know can afford those prices. The people I work with are taking the ferry in from Staten Island every morning.

Maybe there's some big secret that I haven't been let on to yet.

They stopped blocking doubleclick.net (see entry below). My guess is that the 9 error messages per minute from 40,000 workstations was putting a nice dent in the log files.

More likely though, one of the white-hairs on a high floor complained.

I will watch pretty much any show starring Andy Richter, no matter how bad it is. His new show, 'Quintuplets', is very bad. But he did have a great masturbation euphemism last night.

"Why don't you go down to hornyville and fire the mayor."

An organization resting on its laurels, the Labor Movement has done nothing for me lately. And they have such a great slogan: "The people that brought you the weekend." The weekend was indeed a great thing for them to bring us, however it's been 2 days forever. Why not try to make 3 day weekends standard, so when we have a holiday it can be a 4 day weekend? A little piece of advise... frame the debate not as "should weekends be 3 days", but rather as "should the 3 day weekend be Fr-Sa-Su or Sa-Su-Mo?" Or at least try to get us Wednesday off, just don't sit there being all smug about how you are so awesome because you gave us weekends. That's the downside to socialists. They don't ever try to improve.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

My company just blocked doubleclick.com from the corporate firewall. Who cares, you say? Doubleclick is just that annoying internet advertising agency, right? Right, but now every webpage I open up instead of having 9 small ads around the page has nine ugly blue boxes with big red letters that says "Goldman Sachs Content Filter - Access Denied."

I can now be constantly reminded that I have just "attempted to violate the firms policy on use of Internet." Perhaps I should "re-read the firm's policy on the use of the Internet, E-mail, and other messaging systems, and comply strictly with that policy."

It's not like I'm downloading porn. It's the friggin Wall Street Journal.

All other problems having already been solved, New York City will be giving away Nicotine patches to the poor.

At least the city isn't paying for the patches, which are being donated by Pfizer. We wouldn't want them to have to take money from other places, like the salaries of the police officers who beat the crap out of poor people.

For some reason I was reading an article on the UN Oil-for-Food scandal, and I was wondering what company was chosen to create the website for the Independent Inquiry Committee chaired by Paul Volcker. The website is absolutely horrible, so I figured some company made a bundle for an hour's work.

Turns out, the domain name was registered by Reid Morden, who used to head Canada's version of the CIA (HAHAHAHAHAH). Anyway, although I'm afraid to call it, I think the guy used his cell phone number when he registered. I bet he thought that info was secret. No wonder we haven't heard about any recent triumphs from the Canadian CIA.

Registrant Name:Reid Morden
Registrant Organization:IIC
Registrant Street1:866 First Ave
Registrant City:New York
Registrant State/Province:NY
Registrant Postal Code:10017
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.9173679066

While Mr. Bush points to the 112,000 U.S. jobs created in June as a sign of "steady growth," the number fell short of the 250,000 economists had forecast.

Being an economist is the greatest job in the world. You can pretty much make any prediction you want, and even those economists whose predictions are in a completely different universe from the subsequent reality can be given a column in the New York Times. In the above quote, the economists were off by over 100%, and the tone of the article is that Bush is the asshole. Uh, maybe the forecast was just pulled out of someone's ass? Maybe we should not blame reality and blame the ignoramuses who call themselves economists? Ironically, the economists who are often closest to reality are the ones most scorned by the elite.

If I couldn't be an economist, my second choice would be weather man. There is another job where you can come to work and say anything you want. A 10 second glance at the satellite photo would give a monkey 50% chance of getting the weather right, which is more often than the guy on my local news.

As you may know, my vote for the toughest job in the world is bank security guard in Alaska. Imagine the stress all day as everyone walks in wearing a ski mask.

Independence Day [soon]. I don't buy the official story in the history books. I consider it unlikely that there was a time when the British were the assholes and the French were on our side. I want to know what really happened. I can handle the truth.

"We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France."

The Duke of Wellington apparently said that a long time ago. Leaving aside the merits of John F. Kerry, I don't buy his argument that the French hate us because of George Bush, and if he were President all that would change. They wouldn't like us if we moved the Capitol to New Orleans (which, by the way, would kick ass and I recommend).

Now I see where this post is going. In honor of Independence Day here is a list of changes I think should be made in the Federal Gov't.

1) As discussed above, move Capitol to New Orleans.
2) Re-institute tax on tea and stamps.
3) Hire Mark Burnett to run C-SPAN.
4) Repeal every Constitutional Amendment after #15.
5) Mandate that all budget appropriations be done in cash, and Congress members must count the money by hand to make sure it is right.
6) New National Anthem, written by a guy not named Francis (or Randy [unless Macho Man]).
7) Rename branches of military (Army, Air Force, Navy). Now to be called Earth, Wind, and Fire.
8) Replace Ruth Bader Ginsberg with Judge Judy, Replace Reinquist with Judge Mills Lane.
9) Census Bureau replaced with spammer email address CD.
10) Following longstanding tradition, take over Indian Casinos.

My one reader chastisted me that the posts need to be short. I end here. Thanks.

I don't like the paramilitary uniforms that the Deutsche Bank security guards wear down at their Wall Street office.