Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Bush you stingy bitch. How dare you propose to only spend $2,570,000,000,000 this year! I've got an idea... maybe in this post I'll trot out the tired old cliche "if you lined all those up" statistics. That will be fun because I can look up all kinds of distances on websites that are surely reliable.
Of course, even if you lined them up at 5 dollar bills per second, it would take you over 16,000 years to finish,
and the length of this bill trail would encircle the earth 9,773 times,
which is not that long, as it's only 2.6 times the distance to the sun,
and that means if you ran the length of the trail, it would only take you 21.8 minutes if you were running at the speed of light,
but fortunately, if you were running at that speed, time would stop according to the Special Theory of Relativity, and thus April 15th would not occur,
which would be a novel way of getting your automatic filing extension,
and would probably be ruled illegal by the United States Tax Court,
meaning the US Government has declared [the speed of light constant] c illegal,
therefore, by Reductio ad Absurdum, this budget is not possible. Only an IDIOT like GEORGE W. BUSH would propose a federal budget that contravenes the laws of nature.
Of course, even if you lined them up at 5 dollar bills per second, it would take you over 16,000 years to finish,
and the length of this bill trail would encircle the earth 9,773 times,
which is not that long, as it's only 2.6 times the distance to the sun,
and that means if you ran the length of the trail, it would only take you 21.8 minutes if you were running at the speed of light,
but fortunately, if you were running at that speed, time would stop according to the Special Theory of Relativity, and thus April 15th would not occur,
which would be a novel way of getting your automatic filing extension,
and would probably be ruled illegal by the United States Tax Court,
meaning the US Government has declared [the speed of light constant] c illegal,
therefore, by Reductio ad Absurdum, this budget is not possible. Only an IDIOT like GEORGE W. BUSH would propose a federal budget that contravenes the laws of nature.
